On the edge of something..

What can I say?

2010-08-08T20:40:00.001-07:00

It's been such a long time since I posted. I know it might be a long time again before I post after this one. I think about writing, but so much in the past couple of years has been potentially volatile.

So here's me trying to decide whether to pull this blog or simply turn it in a different direction.

Thoughts?

Learning to slow down

2009-12-13T11:04:00.000-08:00

It's been a long time since I really posted anything personal. There has been a lot to process over the past year or so. Little by little letting go of the angst surrounding my mom's death, and then having my dad's leukemia kick into high gear. I have gone from having an average of 3 jobs at one time to just 1.5. I dropped out of the PhD program. I put away my cape and superpowers.

I've left the corporate whore job for one that pays slightly less but has better insurance and is 5 minutes from home. Quality of life is an improvement.

My mom's son that she gave up for adoption in 1963 found me in October. He looks strikingly like my mom in healthier days. We're slowly building a relationship and I'm incredibly pleased to have finally met him. To have known about someone your entire life and finally meet them is kind of surreal.

I've gotten heavily into pottery. I'm hoping to build a raku kiln and get a regular kiln as well.

This explains so much...

2009-07-28T18:09:00.001-07:00

Bwahahaha!

2009-07-27T20:42:00.001-07:00

West Bank Story

2009-06-23T20:18:00.000-07:00

Talking Equality

2009-05-30T09:26:00.001-07:00

New World

2009-03-19T21:15:00.001-07:00

World Builder from Bruce Branit on Vimeo.

We're #1!

2009-03-05T21:53:00.001-08:00

Go Portland!

Courage Campaign-Fidelity

2009-02-24T21:47:00.000-08:00

"Fidelity": Don't Divorce... from Courage Campaign on Vimeo.

This explains our economic situation

2009-02-10T21:36:00.000-08:00

Pure awesome

2009-01-23T22:07:00.000-08:00

Friday, January 23rd, 2009 at 2:23 pm

Executive Orders to date

Yesterday, President Obama issued a series of Executive Orders:

Calling for the closure of the Guantanamo detention center within one year
Creating a Special Task Force to review detainee policy going forward
Ensuring lawful interrogations by requiring that all interrogations of detainees in armed conflict follow the Army Field Manual interrogation guidelines

The Inaugural Address

2009-01-23T22:04:00.001-08:00

Very cool photo blog

2009-01-12T23:19:00.000-08:00

I'll start you with my town...

Toad the Wet Sprocket

2009-01-12T22:57:00.000-08:00

One of the best pop bands you've probably never heard of...

Best Wedding Video.. really

2008-12-29T23:04:00.000-08:00

By any stretch of the imagination, a classic

2008-12-27T09:52:00.000-08:00

Young at Heart Chorus = Pure awesome

2008-12-26T16:31:00.002-08:00

This is one of the videos that got cut...

This is a cover of Coldplay's Fix You

So, it's been a while eh?

2008-12-26T12:48:00.000-08:00

I just haven't been in the posting mood. Not to say that I haven't had things to post about, just haven't felt that I could adequately describe them or how I felt about them.

I am stressed. Stressed about money, mostly. The spouse and I swapped and now I am handling the money and he is putting the dishes away. I have a bad back, so in many ways this trade favored me. I am concerned about money mostly and the fact that I cannot find a fulltime position in a field I trained in. One good thing I can say about my current job is that if I die on the way to or from it, my hubby can finally pay off our bills with the exception of my student loans. They will rot in hell before I pay that back. Making a teacher pay that much money to get certified/licensed and then only offering $36K/year? What kind of crack are these people smoking?

Two of my favorite bloggers (Crissy & Kristy) are pregnant. I wish them well but I am so damned jealous.And because I know where we are financially, I know that we can't add to our family. This fucking kills me.

There has been a snowstorm in our area of the Pacific NW. They are saying that it is the worst storm in 40 years. Maybe so, maybe not.. Being stuck in the house has been okay for me. The kids are doing okay but the hubby has been working from home and he has been a little cabin-feverish. He was finally able to get the office today, and frankly I think he was happy to do so.

In any case, Happy New Year and お正月おめでとうございます！

Kiwi!

2008-12-21T19:09:00.000-08:00

Meme

2008-12-17T11:37:00.000-08:00

1. What is your occupation right now? Corporate whore, Nonprofit volunteer manager, instructor (yes, 3 jobs)
2. What color are your socks right now? I'm barefoot at present.
3. What are you listening to right now? The fire.
4. What was the last thing that you ate? Golden Grahams cereal.
5. Can you drive a stick shift? Yes.
6. Last person you spoke to on the phone? Husband.
7. Do you like the person who sent this to you? Yes, although she didn't send it, she posted it.
8. How old are you today? 37 years
9. What is your favorite sport to watch on TV? The luge.
10. What is your favorite drink? Dr. Pepper
11. Have you ever dyed your hair? Oh yes.
12. Favorite food? Japanese...either sushi, sashimi, curry,or katsu.
13. What is the last movie you watched? Quest for Fire
14. Favorite day of the year? Don't have one.
15. How do you vent anger? By making snarky comments.
16. What was your favorite toy as a child? Motorcycle
17. What is your favorite season? Spring or Fall...
18. Cherries or Blueberries? Blueberries
19. Do you want your friends to e-mail you back? Yes.
20. Who is the most likely to respond? Don't know. Don't really expect a response.
22. Living arrangements? Rental house in Portland, Oregon.
23. When was the last time you cried? While watching Obama make his acceptance speech.
24. What is on the floor of your closet? Don't have one.
25. Who is the friend you have had the longest that you are sending to? I'm not sending it. Just posting it.
26. What did you do last night? Spent 2.5 hours in traffic to get home, ate dinner, worked with kids on homework, fell asleep.
27. What are you most afraid of? Losing my kids.

2008-12-10T09:49:00.000-08:00

Check out this event. Abby from Northwest Down Syndrome Association will be there selling calendars to support All Born In and other projects that NWDSA works on.

I thought turkeys could fly..

2008-11-27T18:35:00.000-08:00

H.Y.S.T.E.R.I.C.A.L.

2008-11-12T21:29:00.000-08:00

Yes we can!

2008-11-05T07:05:00.001-08:00

I am thrilled that we, as a country, have mostly come to a place where we agree that looking at a person's credentials is more important that looking at the color of their skin.

I am thrilled, as a mother to children who are not white, that I can point to the highest public office in our nation and say, "You can be president someday if you want!"

Oh yeah!

The Eritrean School Director

2008-10-27T07:00:00.001-07:00

He sits in my class, clinging to every word. Hoping that he will catch every nuance, but castigating himself for his self-perceived lack of understanding. Every break in my lecturing he comes to me and apologizes for his inadequacies. I talk to him of patience and self-compassion. I remind him in every class that learning takes time and also that he is doing better than he thinks.

I ask him one day after class, "What did you do in Eritrea?"
"I was the director of a school. I studied and taught mathematics. I am not good at languages."
I smile and shake my head. I draw an upward sloping line on the whiteboard with plateaus along the way. I explain that learning anything goes along this line. He nods his head and smiles, but I can tell from his eyes he does not believe me. He smiles and thanks me for my time. Apologizes again for his incompetence. Then he heads out the door, heading back to work. He gives up his dinner break twice a week to come to my class. He works as an orderly at a local hospital.

Yo-Californians!

2008-10-24T21:32:00.000-07:00

Now is the time to donate. Let your support be known.

Undecided by David Sedaris

2008-10-22T21:02:00.000-07:00

ILLUSTRATION: ZOHAR LAZAR

This is why you should subscribe to The New Yorker.

Beautiful

2008-10-06T20:22:00.001-07:00

I'm a little behind on my outrage...

2008-10-05T10:25:00.000-07:00

I knew some things would slide when I decided to have one full time job and two part time jobs, but I am aghast at some of the things I have been catching up on..

In Ohio, Muslim children were gassed. Please explain to me how this is not terrorism? How exactly can attacking innocent babies be justifed? What am I missing here? We, as a nation, decry senseless violence, and yet since 9/11 have allowed, as a nation, the perpetuation of racism and religious intolerance against Muslims and people with darker skin tones in the name of protecting our country from the Islamic jihad?

And while I have been kind of keeping up on the crashing of AIG, WaMu, Wachovia, Lehnman Brothers, Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, I was astounded to hear more and more people blaming the average Joe for being greedy and wanting more house than they could afford and thus causing the crashes of the mortgage companies.. Please, people, read this and then ask yourself who/what was really at fault? This collapse is not about the the average Joe/Jose/Jane/Juaquina, it's about bad business practices, and government allowing lax standards. And then ask yourself who has been in power the past 8 years in order to mess things up this badly.

Rwanda: Lest we forget

2008-10-03T22:01:00.000-07:00

Maryam as usual had a story to tell. But this one made me cry. This one should not be forgotten. This one should be written on walls, blasted from the airwaves, and shouted from the rooftops. First, give your attention to Vestine's story as told by Maryam. Then give a little from your pocket to represent the amount of your heart you would give to make Vestine's world better. No one deserves what she went through. No one. And yet hundreds of thousands were faced with the same tortureous happenings.

When a Conservative Woman Comes Out Against Palin...

2008-09-28T14:34:00.000-07:00

You know it has to be pretty bad.

Palin sickens me on so many levels. I didn't like Hillary, but dammit, at least she is up on the issues and doesn't filibuster every time she's asked a question about national security, the economy, Iraq, Iran, or health care.

The Great Schlep

2008-09-27T18:25:00.000-07:00

And after the drought, a flood

2008-09-17T20:33:00.000-07:00

I spent much of the last year looking for a new job. Finally I took a corporate position in a field I have absolutely no interest in in order to bring some money into my household.

It should come as no surprise that after taking this job, I would be offered positions in my field. I was, amazingly, surprised.

I spent a year teaching in Adult Basic Education and it was perhaps one of the best teaching positions I have ever had. I had motivated students from a variety of backgrounds..

~A geriatric former maid who at the age of 71 decided she wanted to learn to read.

~A Haitian immigrant whose gentleness astounded me.

~Two young Somali Bantu women who learned that I would honor their culture by teaching it in the classroom.

~An Mayan man who was expecting his first child and taught me that Mexicans' can be racist, too.

~A former gang-banger covered in tattoos from LA who always turned his homework in early and asked for more.

~A Muslim woman who would bring her baby to class, and during Ramadan she let me hold him while she ate after sunset.

So, now I am back as adjunct faculty for one class twice a week. If I get 9 consecutive terms teaching I get can call the classes I want.

I'll be teaching reading, and I am looking forward to exploring my students' interests and hopefully exposing them to more.

And as my father asked me.. Now you have 3 jobs? When do you sleep?

When I can, Dad. When I can.

Palin is the worst thing to happen to women since McCain

2008-09-11T20:50:00.000-07:00

So, during Palin's watch in Wasilla, she was kind enough to appoint a police chief who felt he would save the Alaskan tax payers by charging rape victims for their own evidence kits. Check the article here for corroboration with the timing of Palin being mayor. I guess McCain really was choosing the best running mate for himself, since he voted against Biden's proposal that all rape kits be free of charge for the victims.

Please explain to me how this is pro-woman? Anyone?

How to be an adult? WTF?!

2008-09-03T22:29:00.000-07:00

I am so a better parent than these ladies...

Moms write survival guide for coddled young adults
Sharon Hill , Canwest News Service
WINDSOR, Ont. -A son with scurvy because he thought he could survive on chicken wings and beer got two moms thinking they should write a book.
A guide to adulthood. A how-to book with things as simple as how to boil water and how to wipe your bum, and trickier tasks like tying a Windsor knot and managing your finances.
Kim Zarzour, a Windsor-born journalist, and author Sharon E. McKay packed all their tips into the 514-page book Good To Go: A Practical Guide to Adulthood.
Getty Images

It was one of McKay's sons who got scurvy but Zarzour said her own teenage son's attempts at cooking show the book is needed.
``We'll start easy. Here's a box of chicken nuggets, go for it,'' Zarzour said recalling a classic case of confused cooking. ``And of course he's yelling out: `What's a cookie sheet?' I mean, how did I not remember to teach him what a cookie sheet was?''
Another exchange she recalled had her son, while following a recipe, asking: ``What's a tsps?''
``What do you mean tsps?''
``It's spelled TSP.''
``Teaspoon, honey.''
Zarzour said it's partly Baby Boomer parents and partly the society we live in that's to blame.
She said it's not that teens or young adults are dumb. (Who helps older adults with their cellphones and computers?) It's just that they've been micro- managed.
A generation that's been been busy taking cello lessons and playing travel hockey never learned how to vacuum, clean a bathroom or cook.
``I am certain not one of my kids knows there is a vacuum bag to take out, ''said Zarzour.
It's also about priorities. She's more interested in letting her kids get their homework done so they can get into university than making them clean toilets.
``We're trucking them around, trying to enrich their lives and feeding them in the McDonald's drive thru. It takes time to teach them how to cook. It takes time to teach them how to properly clean the bedroom. None of us really have that time.''
And kids don't take home economics in school or pick up practical skills such as sewing on a button - skills their parents likely learned in Brownies or Scouts. Now Zarzour wishes she'd taught her kids more about living in the real world.
Zarzour, who grew up in Windsor but now lives in the Toronto area, has 18- year-old and 12-year-old sons and a 16-year-old daughter. McKay's kids are older.
``Hers were sort of already out there making hilarious and stupid mistakes with their attempts to be independent,'' Zarzour said.
``Gradually, my own son started doing really stupid things. I said there's a book in this. We can't be the only ones.''
The book, published by Penguin Canada, sells for $24.
And in case you're wondering how to wipe your bum, the book recommends front to back - that's to move bacteria away from your genitals.
And wash your hands! The book tells readers how to do that, too.
Windsor Star

© CanWest News Service 2008

End of summer

2008-08-31T11:01:00.000-07:00

The nights are gradually lengthening. This is the prelude to my favorite time of year. I am heading out to the nursery today to get plants for my decimated front yard. My friend Abby brought us housewarming gifts and included a gift card (thanks, Abby!) to the aforementioned nursery as well as some free range chicken eggs, so I am very pleased.

Gardening is lovely therapy for most things that ail you.

Anniversary

2008-08-25T20:31:00.001-07:00

Today would be my parents' 38th wedding anniversary..

My mom used to love to listen to Chuck Mangione, especially when it was raining and we were driving around Portland circa late '70s early '80s. I guess you had to be there..

Ode to Joy

2008-08-25T20:26:00.000-07:00

Probably not legitimate Muppets, but fun nonetheless.

62

2008-08-24T19:09:00.000-07:00

My mother would have been 62 years old on Friday.

If I had known 10 years ago that my mother would be gone, I might have played things a little differently. I know, I know.. playing the "if only" game is stupid, non-productive, and only adds to your misery. But I play it just the same.

I wish I had let my mother be at my son's birth. I didn't let her, and now that she is gone, I regret that. She never really bonded with my son, and maybe she would have if I had let her come to the birth.

My mom was so fucked up. I honestly think she wanted to be a good mom but she just didn't know how. She spent so much time trying not to be her mom, even when it would have benefited my sister and I to have that kind of mother, that she kind of failed to be any kind of mom at all. She tried to be my friend. I remember her being very lonely. I was her social outlet for the most part, I think, through my teen years.

I was there for her at the end.
She was wheezing with every breathe but her body was on autopilot. Her respirations just kept coming. We'd had her semi-upright to help with the breathing, which ironically kept her alive even when she was brain-dead. I lowered the bed. I knew it would speed things along. She died a few hours later. She opened her eyes at the end and gasped. It made me wonder if I had done the right thing.

Could she have survived and come back? I don't think so. Everything I read about stroke and brain death indicated that she, the she we knew as my mom, was no longer there.

But here I am. The weekend of her birthday. Tomorrow would be her 38th wedding anniversary.

Playing the "if only" game.

The Mighty Six

2008-08-23T10:20:00.000-07:00

My father (hi, Dad!) sent me the link to this local website that addresses the trials and tribulations of riding Trimet. The latest story tickled me as my kids have been nagging me to set up a lemonade stand for ages.

Check out "Do your stuff, syrup man" on The Mighty 6.

Getting involved in your community

2008-08-17T13:45:00.000-07:00

For the past several years I have been doing pledge walks for Parkinsons (see link for why) and am now going to get involved with doing the buddy walk for Down Syndrome. Please see below for the info and feel free to sponsor my friend, Abigail Braithwaite, for her walk.

10th annual Northwest Down Syndrome Association Buddy Walk

Please join us for the 10th annual Northwest Down Syndrome Association Buddy Walk on Saturday, October 4th.

The mission: Create and nurture a loving and inclusive community celebrating every person with Down syndrome. By providing resources and empowerment to families, you are helping people in Oregon, SW Washington and beyond lead more self-sufficient lives. Help make steps for a brighter tomorrow by supporting the NWDSA Buddy Walk.

Humor

2008-08-16T22:43:00.000-07:00

When I have the mean reds I often stop by P's page, Crissy's page, Kristy's page, or Melissa Lion's page for some light or not so light reading. Eloquent or foul-mouthed and sometimes both, these women bring me back from my mean reds and make me laugh unabashedly at their antics and tumble their thoughts around my head until I have grasped all the little nuances.

I know that these women often do not think of themselves as brave or even innovative, and yet I find them so. I wish I had their skills in word-smithing to write riveting little vignettes about my day, observations, or feelings.

Alas... I am not them.

So, in the interest of encouraging you to enjoy these fine writers, click on the above links and be preparred to be awed, amused, challenged, and potentially shoot coffee out your nose as you read some of their work.

Ciao!

Hong My Tran

2008-08-15T21:55:00.000-07:00

The title of this post is a Vietnamese name. Today in class this name was said and people erupted in giggles. I was so saddened by the response, not just of the other people in my class, but also by my actions. I said nothing. I am going to find a way to talk to HR about this next week. My class already doesn't really get me, but saying something and shaming them would not have helped. I should have said something anyway.

Hopefully next week I will redeem myself.

Odes to the plain life...

2008-08-15T21:33:00.000-07:00

I was listening to Tom Waits tonight as I surfed the internets. Putnam County came on, and I thought back to when my dad used to d.j. and he would throw Waits' Nighthawks at the Diner on his turntable. I think one time he told me that it reminded of his hometown, or perhaps Wellington... not sure which. The verses take you to a time and place that is easy to picture behind closed eyes as you listen to Waits' gravelly voice. Just for shits and grins I'll post the lyrics for lack of ability to post the song itself, but I encourage you to listen to not only the song, but the entire album/cd/mp3.

I guess things were always quiet around Putnam County
kind of shy and sleepy as it clung to the skirts
of the 2-lane, that was stretched out like an
asphalt dance floor where all the oldtimers would
hunker down in bib jeans and store bought boots
lyin' about their lives and the places that they'd been
suckin' on Coca Colas and be spittin' Days Work
they's be suckin' on Coca Colas and be spittin' Day's Work
until the moon was a stray dog on the ridge and
the taverns would be swollen until the naked eye
of 2am, and the Stratocaster guitars slung over
Burgermeister beer guts, and the swizzle stick legs
jacknifed over naugahyde stools and the
witch hazel spread out over the linoleum floors,
the pedal pushers stretched out over midriff bulge
and the coiffed brunette curls over Maybelline eyes
wearing Prince Machiavelli, Estee Lauder, smells so sweet
I elbowed up at the counter with mixed feelings
over mixed drinks
and Bubba and the Roadmasters moaned in pool hall
concentration as they knit their brows to
cover the entire Hank Williams Song Book
and the old National register was singing to the tune of $57.57
until last call, one last game of 8 ball
and Berneice would be putting the chairs on the tables,
someone come in say "Hey man, anyone got
any Jumper Cables, is that a 6 or a 12 volt?"
and all the studs in town would toss 'em down
and claim to fame as they stomped their feet
boasting about being able to get more ass
than a toilet seat.
And the GMCs and the Straight 8 Fords
were coughing and wheezing and they
perculated as they tossed the gravel
underneath the fenders to weave home
a wet slick anaconda of a two lane
with tire irons and crowbars a rattlin'
with a tool box and a pony saddle
you're grinding gears, shifting into first
yea and that goddam tranny's just getting worse
with the melodies of "see ya later"
and screwdrivers on carburettors
talkin' shop about money to loan
and palominos and strawberry roans
See ya tomorrow, hello to the Mrs.
money to borrow and goodnight kisses
the radio spittin' out Charlie Rich
sure can sing that sonofabitch
and you weave home, weavin' home
leaving the little joint winking in the
dark warm narcotic American night
beneath a pin cushion sky and it's
home to toast and honey, start
up the Ford, your lunch money's there on the
draining board, toilet's runnin' shake the
handle, telephone's ringin' it's Mrs Randal
where the hell are my goddam sandals
and the porcelain poodles and the glass swans
staring down from the knick knack shelf
with the parent permission slips for the kids' field trips
pair of Muckalucks scraping across
the shag carpet
and the impending squint of
first light, that lurked behind
a weeping marquee in downtown Putnam
and would be pullin' up any minute now
just like a bastard amber
Velveeta yellow cab on a rainy corner
and be blowin' its horn, in every window
in town.

The Big Read

2008-08-08T07:43:00.000-07:00

The Big Read *(whatever that is) reckons that the average adult has only read 6 of the top 100 books they’ve printed.

1) Look at the list and bold those you have read.
2) Italicize those you intend to read.
3) Underline the books you love.
4) Strike out the books you have no intention of ever reading, or for whatever reason loathe.
5) Reprint this list in your own blog so we can try and track down these people who’ve only read 6 and force books upon them.

1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien
3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
4 The Harry Potter Series
5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
6 ~~The Bible~~
7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell
9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott
12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare
15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien
17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks
18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger
19 The Time Traveller’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20 Middlemarch - George Eliot
21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald
23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
25 The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
26 Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll
30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis
34 Emma - Jane Austen
35 Persuasion - Jane Austen
36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis
37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne
41 Animal Farm - George Orwell
42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez (Otherwise known as One Hundred Years of Snoozitude)
44 A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving
45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery BEST. BOOK. EVER.
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48 The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood
49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding
50 Atonement - Ian McEwan
51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel
52 Dune - Frank Herbert
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68 Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding
69 Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie
70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville
71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
72 Dracula - Bram Stoker
73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett
74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75 Ulysses - James Joyce
76 The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal - Emile Zola
79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
80 Possession - AS Byatt
81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87 Charlotte’s Web - EB White
88 ~~The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom~~
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery
93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams
95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl
100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo

*I am going to point out here that this would not be the list I would have created of the world's greatest books!

How to respond to racism

2008-08-07T18:47:00.001-07:00

The fragile art of calling your child's friend on racism

2008-08-06T19:59:00.000-07:00

To give you an idea of what kind of mood I was in, I am prefacing this story with the information that I:
a) started a new job Monday
b)started my period 6 days early on my first day of the new job
c)spent an hour in the car getting home
d)had to perform 2 skits at work today with over-entitled 20-somethings

So, I am sitting at the dining table taking with himself (the hubby), which is relatively close to the back door, and I hear...

"Poor Asian people. Poor Asian people."

This from my kids' 9 year old friend. I stop my conversation with himself, pop over to the door, and inquire as to what they're doing???Hmmm???

The little darling tells me that they're pretending to be poor Asians. Uh.. okaaay. My son is looking none-too-pleased and seems to know exactly why I am asking. I let her know that when race is used to describe folks, it can easily offend people. I gave her a litmus test to use when using race as a descriptor.

Replace the race you're describing with your own. If you would be offended by what you're now saying, perhaps you shouldn't say it.

Come to think of it, you could also use this with gender, color, religion, political belief, or any number of other things.

You go see this.

2008-08-06T19:08:00.000-07:00

True Colors

Wednesday August 13th, 7:30
Seven Dollars

Urban Grind East
2214 NE Oregon St.
Beer, wine, food.

Check things out over at Back Fence PDX

Too Many Things: Part II

2008-08-05T07:37:00.000-07:00

I have a friend whose child was molested. I will not go into detail, as I want to protect the parent and child's anonymity. I know the statistics.

Here are some from the U.S. Department of Health & Human Services..

Composition of substantiated child abuse in 2000:
879,000 children were victims of child maltreatment.
Neglect ~ 63%
Physical ~ 19%
Sexual ~ 10%
Psychological ~ 8%

Victimization rates declined as age increased.
Rate of victimization per 1,000 children of the same age group:
Birth to 3 years old = 15.7 victims per 1,000.
Ages 16 and 17 = 5.7 victims per 1,000.

Except for victims of sexual abuse, rates
were similar for male and female victimization:
11.2 and 12.8 per 1,000 children respectively.
Rate of sexual abuse by gender:
1.7 victims per 1,000 female children
0.4 victims per 1,000 male children.

Rate of child abuse by race:
White = 51%
African American = 25%
Hispanic = 15%
American Indian/Alaska Natives = 2%
Asian/Pacific Islanders = 1%

There is little doubt that my friend's child was abused and had been for quite some time. I would very much like to be in a room with the perpetrator and a baseball bat. I hope that he goes to prison and I hope he gets shanked.

He told my friend's child that they (the victim) were the type of person who made men abuse them.

Too many things: Part I

2008-07-27T21:26:00.000-07:00

I have spent the last few weeks cogitating over several topics. All of them are relevant to where I am mentally and emotionally right now, but all of them are difficult topics to discuss as they tend to hit people at an emotional rather than rational level.

I have a friend whose child has Down Syndrome and we've been talking about inclusive education and what that would mean. She has encouraged me to read several books, and I am putting them high on my "to read" list. I should mention at this point that my daughter will be getting a 504 plan soon and possibly her very own IEP. What is a 504 plan, you ask? The "504" in "504 plan" refers to Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act and the Americans with Disabilities Act, which specifies that no one with a disability can be excluded from participating in federally funded programs or activities, including elementary, secondary or postsecondary schooling. "Disability" in this context refers to a "physical or mental impairment which substantially limits one or more major life activities." This can include physical impairments; illnesses or injuries; communicable diseases; chronic conditions like asthma, allergies and diabetes; and learning problems. A 504 plan spells out the modifications and accommodations that will be needed for these students to have an opportunity perform at the same level as their peers, and might include such things as wheelchair ramps, blood sugar monitoring, an extra set of textbooks, a peanut-free lunch environment, home instruction, or a tape recorder or keyboard for taking notes. My daughter has sensory and cognitive issues that will inhibit her ability to succeed in life if she does not get intervention and some modifications made in the classroom. While we know what some of her issues are, we are still awaiting the official diagnosis of what the full spectrum will be. In the meantime she is a bright, funny, caring little girl. But I worry, you know? An IEP is an individualized education plan. How is this different from a 504 plan? A 504 plan, which falls under the Americans with Disabilities Act, is an exercise in civil rights, an attempt to remove barriers and allow students with disabilities to participate freely. An IEP, which falls under the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act, is much more concerned with actually providing educational services. Students eligible for an IEP or Individualized Education Plan, represent a small subset of all students with disabilities. They generally require more than a level playing field -- they require significant remediation and assistance, and are more likely to work on their own level at their own pace even in an inclusive classroom. Only certain classifications of disability are eligible for an IEP, and students who do not meet those classifications but still require some assistance to be able to participate fully in school would be candidates for a 504 plan. So, back to my friend's and my conversation on inclusion for Special Ed kids in a classroom. My stance falls in the "if they can follow behavior norms within the classroom, they're welcome". Her daughter has a syndrome that is visually identifiable. My daughter does not. I know that in certain cases, if her daughter were to act out there would be allowances made whereas if my daughter does, she will be considered a bad child. Neither take is necessarily fair. When I worked with autistic kids, I was taught to teach and expect appropriate behavior in the community. These kids could still stim to their heart's content, but they damn well better not do anything inappropriate. Those that could not follow the rules were not allowed in the community. I am trying to put together how this would fly in the classroom. In fact, I am trying to imagine how to fund the kind of program it would take to combine kids with Special Ed designation with kids who have a normal* designation. My friend wants me to explore the situation from a stance that is not going "Yeah, but..." and I am having a hard time getting there. I need to though, as I know that this will help me see a different side of the issue and perhaps be able to better interpret for others who may have difficulty seeing the benefits of a combined classroom.

Enough for now. Back to my pondering...

*Whatever the hell normal is...?

Chocolate Cake in 5 Minutes?

2008-07-19T20:18:00.000-07:00

I was cruising the internets and found this...

Ingredients:

4 Tablespoons cake flour
4 Tablespoons sugar
2 Tablespoons cocoa
1 Egg
3 Tablespoons milk
3 Tablespoons oil
1 Mug

Instructions:

Mix flour, sugar and cocoa:

Spoon in 1 egg

Pour in milk and oil, and mix well

Put in microwave for 3 minutes on maximum power (1000watt)

Wait until it stops rising and sets in the mug

Tip contents out of mug onto saucer and enjoy!

Googling Biggest Regrets on the Web

2008-07-15T07:53:00.000-07:00

My Dad sent me this link this morning.

Happy Birthday, Gramma!

2008-07-11T09:27:00.000-07:00

Today is my grandmother's birthday. She is, I believe, 84. So, in honor of her birthday, I am going to put down some of the cool memories I have of her throughout my childhood and up to now.

-Swimming in the snow (Almont, Colorado)
-The duck birthday cake with coconut in the frosting (Wellington, Kansas)
-The living room fort made of card tables and blankets (Wellington, Kansas)
-Getting our feet daisied (Colorado)
-Horseback riding at Cornel/Carmels anyway, up the Taylor River (Colorado)
-Vienna sausage sandwiches over the camp fire (Colorado)
-Putting up with me from 13-19 maybe 13-26
-Swimming at night (Wellington, Kansas)
-Helping build the fish ponds in Almont (Colorado)
-Letting me buy a $50 swimming suit in 1984. (Wellington, Kansas)
-Being able to laugh about the kitten incident (Wellington, Kansas)
-The Christmas tree ornaments that you told stories about (Wellington, Kansas)
-Painting on the dining room table (Wellington, Kansas)
-Going to the fish ponds with your great-grandson (Colorado)
-Feeding the ducks at Donut Bay (Wellington, Kansas)
-Sending postcards and souviners from your Eastern European trip in your 70's
-Sending flowers when Jen died
-Helping me take care of my mom
-Sending me your thoughts on my blog in letter form

Happy birthday, Grams! I love you!

Randomness

2008-07-10T19:19:00.000-07:00

I was cruising blogs as I often do. I refuse to subscribe to RSS feeds as I like the idea of not knowing if the writers I follow have posted something new or not. Anyway, I popped over to "What Possessed Me?" and found this cool link to Wordle.

This is mine..

Memories

2008-07-05T17:01:00.000-07:00

I closed my computer last night in preparation of going to sleep and flashed back to being in my house that I lived in up until last Thursday. It felt like the oddest thing, but then I often find myself flashing back to different times in my life.

Today I was thinking about how it was ten years ago when I was newly pregnant and living in Japan. I had seen the doctor and gotten confirmation of the pregnancy and against all advice out of any book I told everyone I could find the news. I was thrilled. I called my mother frequently to talk about being pregnant and how I wanted to do the birth. I was so excited and scared. I felt, although no one will believe me, that it was a boy. When I finally was far enough along to take a look, they told me it was a girl and I felt all wrong inside. Originally I had planned on having the baby in Japan, but some things inspired me to move back to the U.S. and have the baby here-I was being given tests that were considered archaic in the U.S.; my husband was being a shit; and the hospital people told me I was going to be strapped to a table during labor, have my girly parts shaved, a mandatory episiotomy, mandatory enema, and lastly they were not going to keep the baby with me, they were going to take it away and give it a bottle of glucose. After my seventh or eighth sonogram (I hear in the U.S. it is 1 or 2?) they said "Opps! It's a boy!" I felt vindicated. My husband pulled another dumbass manuever, and I made plans to return home. I was done.

Despite a lot of stress, I did have my boy the spring of 1999. I had him at home. I did not have anything shaved, shoved or strapped to me at any time. The birth was perfect and my baby son was healthy and perfect.

His bio-father left us shortly after birth, so it was just my baby boy and I against the world. Hard times in a lot of ways.

A friend who worked in a local Chinese restaurant invited me down for dinner or something, I don't know. I went and brought my boy with me, as money was tight and a babysitter was not an option. Her boss fell in love with my boy. His name was Jen and he asked to hold him, and walked him around the restaurant showing him off. Over a period of time, I grew to trust that little Chinese man. He knew I was breastfeeding and would constantly have me eat soup and drink juice and water so I had enough milk. He knew I had little money and brought me fresh fruit and lunches and then dinners as I could not afford to feed myself. Most people disliked Jen. He was a pushy little man with a Napoleon complex. He gambled and had a comb over. He constantly wore slacks with a belt and suspenders. Once he lent me rent money, and told me not to worry about paying him back. He gave my sister a job when she needed one. If it had not been for that crazy little man, I don't how I would have made it through that first year or so.

When I started seeing my husband, there were issues with Jen. I don't really know or care how it started, but my husband and Jen despised each other. I was so torn and hurt. Jen had been there for me in ways even my family had not been during a very difficult time in my life. I loved my then boyfriend/now husband and wanted to things to be smooth. I was a lousy middleman to be in between the two. Their relationship never got better. Jen's visits to my son trailed off due to the hostility between him and my husband. I will always regret that my son did not get to see him more. Jen died in February of 2006. I am not sure if we were ever friends, but we were something to each other and he loved my son passionately. I miss him.

Jesse Helms-Don't RIP

2008-07-04T17:02:00.000-07:00

As my husband says, I wish there was a hell for Jesse Helms to go to. It would be fair and just that he should end up there.

"Jesse Helms: 16th century thinkin'" — article at Freepress.org
"Jesse Helms, White Racist" — a 2001 article by David Broder of The Washington Post
"Media Downplay Bigotry of Jesse Helms," FAIR, 2001.
"A Career Based on Contempt for Democratic Rights" WSWS, 2001.
Whitewash article by Barry Yeoman, Independent Weekly
"Jesse Helms says: Hey! I'm the Biggest Bigot Here!" — a collection of his more politically incorrect quotes

Morality strikes Sin City

2008-06-30T21:54:00.000-07:00

Underboob-gate

Fragility

2008-06-29T10:03:00.000-07:00

We understand that all couples are just one wrong sneeze, wrong word, or wrong mood swing away from divorce, and that we are no exception. Beren A. deMotier from The Brides of March except

When things are going well in a relationship, I think many of us, myself included, tend to think "la la la this is wonderful la la la it will last forever la la la..." and don't invest as much thought to how to keep a relationship alive and strong. It is when my spouse had pushed me too far, but I still manage to not tell him to leave me the fuck alone and get the hell away from me, that I realize how much effort I put into our relationship. It is when I am angriest and most frustrated that I focus on the fact that he is not always evil and perhaps I am being overly sensitive. I also remember his advice early in our relationship to keep to the topic at hand. No fair bringing up wrongs done days, weeks, or years ago. I find myself saying sorry when I know I am not in the wrong for the sake of peace, and I know he does the same.

I also think back to an issue that both hubby and a black acquaintance have hit upon with me. The concept is a simple one. No one can say whether or not your feel/experience something except you, because they are not living your experience. When my husband initially came to me with this concept, I poo-poo'd it because I knew what I meant, and it was not what he had internalized. It took me a long time to realize that I was wrong. I watched the former HipMama site implode because people could not internalize this concept.

I am left to wonder how much the world would change if people would come to the realization that we're all responsible to some extent on how other people behave.

'Bill & Ted' actor Carlin dies, aged 71 WTF

2008-06-25T18:39:00.000-07:00

Can someone find the writer of this and bitch slap them? I realize that this is a British publication, but it is akin to saying that Percy Bysshe Shelley wrote a few poems. Maybe I exaggerate, but c'mon!

Why Crissy Wins

2008-06-25T12:30:00.000-07:00

Crissy had a very bad day. Check it here.

Looks cool...

2008-06-24T19:49:00.000-07:00

Photo shopped or not, this is kind of cool.

Scary news

2008-06-24T18:34:00.000-07:00

As of tomorrow evening, I will have no access to my beloved internet until next Tuesday. Yes, I know that this is sick and wrong, but fear not, gentle readers! I still have my Blackberry with which to communicate with the outside world. I'm sure that I will have interesting stories to tell of our wondrous move from North to Northeast Portland.

We're moving!

2008-06-23T18:55:00.000-07:00

After a frantic search, we just signed a lease on a house that has 3 actual bedrooms and a an office for the spouse-a-roo and I.

While I am a little sad to say good-bye to St. Johns, my dad is moving into our house here and we'll keep our connections to the neighborhood.

The down side is that I have 2.5 days to pack my house as the only day the movers had in June was Thursday.

Ciao for now.

Love him or hate him, he made you think..

2008-06-23T09:08:00.000-07:00

George Carlin farewell

By Rich Connell and Jason Song

Los Angeles Times

9:34 AM CDT, June 23, 2008

LOS ANGELES

George Carlin, the acerbic, Grammy-winning comedian whose career spanned more than 50 years, died of heart failure Sunday after being admitted to the hospital complaining of chest pains, a hospital spokesman said. He was 71.

Carlin, who had a history of heart problems, died at St. John's Health Center in Santa Monica shortly before 6 p.m., said his publicist Jeff Abraham.

The comedian, who toured college campuses for years and made a name for himself using dirty language and delivering biting social commentaries, had released 22 solo albums and three bestselling books.

He finished a show at The Orleans in Las Vegas last week and was planning to take the month off to relax and work on a new book of essays and musings, Abraham said.

Carlin normally took summers off and was scheduled to begin touring again beginning with a July 20 performance at Humphrey's Concerts By The Bay in San Diego. He had dates lined up through December, Abraham said.

"He was looking forward to it," Abraham said.

Carlin went to the hospital Sunday afternoon because "his heart just didn't feel right," the publicist said.

Carlin starred in a variety of TV and movie roles and gained fame for a routine about the seven dirty words that could not be uttered on television.

"There are three ingredients in my comedy," he said in a 1991 interview with the Los Angeles Times. "Those three things which wax and wane in importance are English language and wordplay; secondly, mundane, everyday observational comedy -- dogs, cats and all that stuff; and thirdly, sociopolitical attitude comedy."

He earned several gold comedy albums and five Emmy nominations.

Carlin was arrested in 1972 in Milwaukee for using indecent language. In a separate case in 1973, a radio listener complained after a station played part of his album. That case went the Supreme Court, which in 1978 ruled in favor of the Federal Communications Commission, saying the radio station could not broadcast those words at times when children could be listening.

Last year, he said a highlight of his career was a 1992 HBO special titled "Jamming in New York."

"That was the point where I probably became more of a writer who performed his own material.

"The material became more like essays, they became more socially conscious, and it was just a major jump from being what I think of as only an entertainer to being an artist-entertainer," he said in a 2007 Times interview.

Last year, Carlin released "George Carlin: All My Stuff," a 14-DVD collection of his HBO specials from 1977 to 2005. He had shown no signs of slowing down.

Just last week, the John F. Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts announced Carlin would be awarded the 11th annual Mark Twain Prize for American Humor.

The center is scheduled to honor Carlin at a tribute performance by former colleagues on Nov. 10, which will be broadcast later on PBS. Actor and comedian Billy Crystal won last year's Mark Twain prize.

Carlin was born May 12, 1937, in the Bronx and grew up in New York.

He is survived by wife Sally Wade; daughter Kelly Carlin McCall; son-in-law Bob McCall; older brother Patrick Carlin; sister-in-law Marlene Carlin and longtime manager, business partner and best friend Jerold Hamza. Carlin's first wife, Brenda, died in 1997.

AP-NY-06-23-08 0221EDTƒo

Chip and Dale's Applecore

2008-06-22T19:57:00.000-07:00

Cereal

2008-06-22T09:05:00.001-07:00

Oh hells no am I feeding something like this to my kids.

Check out this link for other nutritional nightmares from our past.

Still sick. This sucks.

2008-06-20T10:11:00.000-07:00

But I was over reading Matt Davis Opens His Mouth and I saw this fabulous picture. I giggle a little over hipsters, but then I wonder if I am perceived as being one?

I will be 37 next week. I can't say I feel old, wise, young or energetic. I remember with amused fondness all my fuck-ups in my teens and 20's. I feel like I am finally becoming an adult, but I am still not sure what that means exactly. I have the requisite house, spouse, and 2 kids. We have a dog, a snake, and 2 cats. I have 1.5 jobs starting sometime in July.

So, true-believers, what does being a grown-up mean to you?

*For my birthday I would love to get my half-sleeve tatttoos finished, but that will cost a mint, so we'll see.

Ugh

2008-06-19T19:51:00.000-07:00

I am so sick. I can kind of tolerate colds in the winter, but summer colds suck bad.

I may have to be out out of my misery.

Since Fox News Won't Say Anything....

2008-06-19T06:54:00.000-07:00

The video is based on a story in the book The Real McCain by Cliff Schecter. Check out the news blurb at The Raw Story.

So what should I say other than congratulations?

2008-06-17T21:42:00.001-07:00

California gays who wanted to get married are doing so starting today. While I think this is way cool, I am concerned that the right-wing wackos will find a way to shut this down like they did in Portland, Oregon. You can read a personal account of the Portland fiasco here. I want so badly for my kids to grow up in a world where it doesn't matter what sex, gender, color, religion, what-have-you you are, you can get married if you damn well want to. I am crossing my fingers and toes that this will set the trend for the future.

Vocabulary day

2008-06-17T20:49:00.000-07:00

I have decided to introduce a new word once a week on Tuesdays. The word may or may not be PG-13+, so beware kind reader!

The word this week is inspired by Deus Ex Malcontent's post.

This week's word is:

merkin

Some things are just so wrong you have to share.

Back Fence PDX

2008-06-16T10:35:00.000-07:00

Because I love Melissa Lion (sight unseen!) I want to strongly encourage you to check out the Back Fence PDX Event on June 19th!!!

JUNE'S LIVE BACK FENCE PDX EVENT

June 19th, 7:30pm

Tour de Crepes
2921 NE Alberta Street Portland, OR 503.473.8657

Summer Love:
Lying Out and Burning Up

Featuring stories told by

Becky Poole, of New York Sketch Comedy Group, Meat

Cathleen Mullins, Photographer, Recent Portland Transplant and Former Scientologist

Kiala Kazebee, Film Critic and Blogger

Alison Hallett, Arts Editor of The Portland Mercury

Mike McGonigal, Portland writer and creator of Yeti Magazine

Brian Belefant, film director and photographer

Each story is true, six minutes long and unrehearsed. Admission is $7

For Bec

2008-06-15T19:11:00.000-07:00

Is forming a reasoned opinion beyond today's human?

2008-06-15T03:19:00.000-07:00

I had a commenter leave the following message in reference to my Be Very Afraid posting:

Cathy said...

I have to ask: What ARE you on about? Besides the Fox program, is there some other bee in your bonnet? What you're asking is beyond most people IMHO. They are NOT going to look very far for an opinion or a belief.
My big thing is how easily someone can fall for $cientology -- I did, so I know what I'm talking about.
There is so much information available at any given moment, I actually find myself limiting my intake simply because I cannot process it all. And I think I'm smarter than average. (then again, I fell for $cn. heh heh)

I agree that there is an abundance of information available at any given moment. With the availability of information on the internet and the differing political agendas represented on television and radio stations, it can be overwhelming.

The point of my post is that people should not rely on just one resource for their information. Pick two opposing resources and nothing else if you have to, it can be Bill Maher and Al Franken for all I care. A failure to be involved and informed is not only letting yourself down, but everyone your life touches, and you touch more people than you know.

The Brides of March

2008-06-14T20:34:00.000-07:00

In honor of Gay Pride, come check out Beren A. deMotier. I know it is a little late, but better late than never!!!

Walk Down the Aisle With Beren A. deMotier at In Other Words Bookstore

Remember those giddy days when same-sex marriage happened here, in Oregon? Alright, so it was rapidly followed by legal limbo, a vitriolic election, a constitutional ban and an annulment by state supreme court decision announcing the 3000 marriages null, void and legally non-existent, but hey, it was great while it lasted. Join this bride on a roller coaster ride down memory lane as I read from my award-winning book, The Brides of March: Memoir of a Same-Sex Marriage, at the last non-profit feminist bookstore in the US, on Tuesday, June 17th at 6:30 PM, in honor of Pride!

Tell five friends about the reading, suggest it to your book group (guaranteed to get discussion cracking while domestic partnerships are edging closer to the ballot), drag along your reluctant in-law, and enjoy an evening of laughter and tears in a cozy atmosphere guaranteed to give you flashbacks of freshman year.

The Brides of March won a Foreword Magazine Book of the Year Award, a National Indie Excellence Award, an Independent Publisher Book Award, a Reader Views Award and an Honorable Mention in the Writer’s Digest International Self-Published Book Awards.

In Other Words Bookstore is located at 8 NE Killingsworth (at Williams Avenue). Call 503-232-6003 for directions or more information. Hope to see you there!

Just a check-in

2008-06-13T20:42:00.000-07:00

Bec said,

You know how sometimes people on your friend's list post about stuff going on in their life, and all of a sudden you think "Wait a minute? Since when are they working THERE? Since when are they dating HIM/HER? since when???" And then you wonder how you could have missed all that seemingly pretty standard information, but somehow you feel too ashamed to ask for clarification because it seems like info you *should* already know? It happens to all of us sometimes. Please copy mine below, erase my answers putting yours in their place then post it in your journal! Please elaborate on the questions that would benefit from elaboration! One-Word-Answers seldom help anyone out :)

1) First Name: Rachael

2) Age: Almost 37

3) Location: Portland, Oregon USA

4) Occupation: Unemployed but looking. Have a few things cooking and am intrigued by the opportunities. Might become a corporate peon.

5) Partner: Yes. Married for 5 years now.

6) Kids: 1 boy (age 9) 1 girl (age 7). Would like one more, but cannot even think of affording it right now.

7) Brothers/Sisters: 1 sister who lives in PDX with her partner and his kids & 1 brother I've never met

8) Pets: 1 Labrador, 1 Devon Rex, 1 Tortishell, 1 Corn Snake

9) List the 3-4 Biggest Things Going on In Your Life:
1- Looking for a new house
2- Getting over my mother's death
3- Planning my future.
4- Surviving.

10) Where and For What did You go to School For:
Portland State University: BA in Linguistics & Japanese.
University of Portland: MA in Teaching.
Portland State University: Possible certificate or MA in Public Admin

11) Parents: Dad lives in PDX. Mom deceased.

12) Who are Some of Your Closest Friends: Abby, Annessa, Bec, Bri, Dan, Gretchen, Kristi, Sue.

Redefining sterotypes + art

2008-06-13T16:44:00.000-07:00

I had the pleasure of meeting Huda Totonji several years ago at Portland State University in an Applied Linguistics class. A practicing Muslim from Saudi Arabia, she redefined my view of Middle Eastern Muslim women. She was thoughtful, articulate, and kind. I found out later that she was a talented artist. Check her art here.

Why I'm Voting Republican (jk)

2008-06-13T15:17:00.000-07:00

Me & Kate Hepburn

2008-06-08T11:15:00.000-07:00

Does anyone remember Katherine Hepburn? How in her later years she had a shaky neck and hands? For years there was a rumor that she suffered from Parkinson's Disease. Au contraire mon ami! It was essential tremor, also called familial tremor. Kate "came out" about it in 1993 and told folks that she had it, and that a little whiskey helped.

The whiskey does help. Any alcohol will.

And now, me! I have essential tremor as well. My hands started to go in my mid-twenties. It was sporadic for a long time and I didn't really think it was more than muscle fatigue or nervousness. In the past five or so years, it has gotten progressively worse. I finally told my doctor about it, and he confirmed the diagnosis. I knew it was possible, as both my mother and maternal grandfather had it to a greater degree. My sister might have it as well.

Most days I don't really think about it. I take a beta blocker to alleviate some of the tremors and for the most part it works. But some days the tremors are stronger than the meds, and I can feel my neck and hands going all over the place when I make intentional movements.

That's the bitch of this thing. If you're just sitting back and relaxing, you don't really notice that anything is different. But if I try to drink a cup of coffee or write or anything else, it is a crap shoot on whether or not I will be able to correctly complete the action.

Did I mention I cut my family's hair. This may have to end soon. It gets harder and harder to make even cuts.

I once had a community health nurse accuse me of being "on drugs" and refuse to give me presciption medication because she wanted to "counsel" me first.

I know that if it gets much worse and the meds stop working, my kids are going to potentially be embarrassed by me in public. I will not be able to do any handwriting at all. This video shows a little of how the hands can be affected.

The thing I worry about most is if I passed it onto my son.　

Be afraid. Be very afraid. Be very, very afraid. Be very, very, very afraid.

2008-06-06T17:20:00.000-07:00

As an educator, albeit an unemployed one, I encourage everyone to not believe everything they see on television; read in the paper or online; or hear on the radio or in public/private conversations. Fox was certainly guilty of this particular debacle, but there have been and most assuredly will be more!

I caution you, before you buy into a concept, read, watch, listen, talk about it to death. Beat that dead horse until you can wrap your mind around ALL views surrounding the issue. Then, and only then, can you accurately develop an opinion that is educated and, although biased to you, far more fair than if you only get your information from one source!

BUSY BUSY BUSY

2008-06-05T22:03:00.000-07:00

I am busily trying to finish tiling my kitchen counters, the floor and get things painted prior to moving I-don't-know-where.

In the meantime, check out Fark's photo contest. The topic is "Trees".

Enjoy!

If you ever wondered what to get me/us..

2008-06-03T12:56:00.000-07:00

We would like a honeymoon. Iceland would be nice. Yes, I said Iceland.

I would love gift certificates to Infinity Tattoo to finish my half sleeves.

The name of a really good hair stylist.

House cleaning. Seriously. I am not a good housewife.

Gift certificates to Portland Nursery.

$1000 for a new couch. Our sofa sucks in ways I cannot even describe on the internet.

Gift certificates for restaurants we like. Or might like.

Free babysitting.

Powertools.

Band saw
Drill press
Air compressor + tool attachments

A really good job that I will love. Tomorrow would be good for this one.

Moving on up(?)

2008-06-03T12:46:00.000-07:00

We're getting ready to move. Finally the kids will have their own rooms. All the better to put their crap in! Bwahahahahaha! I think we'll be leaving North Portland. My job that went awry is here and it is hard to drive past everyday. Stay tuned for sight of our potential new digs!

Whoring to the corporate gods

2008-06-03T12:00:00.000-07:00

So, I am a highly qualified teacher with several years of social service/program management experience. However, I cannot seem to find a job in my field. When I was 18 I would have just starved and kept at it. Now that I am 36, I am more interested in paying my bills and having a comfortable home life. Would I prefer to work in my field? Absolutely. But I am looking at my life and thinking that a secure position in a field that is depression proof sounds pretty good. And if you think that schools and social service are depression-proof, think again.

Argh. Shoot me.

Menamena

2008-06-01T10:12:00.000-07:00

Thanks to my dear friend Bec for turning me onto this video. I dare you to not sing this to yourself all day.

For my husband

2008-05-30T18:26:00.000-07:00

Because he has been thinking about llamas for days...

A Llama Haiku
By: Kay
There once was a llama named Bob
Whose hair sat on his head like a blob.
He always would spit
And make my teeth grit
When it fell on my shoe in a glob.

Morbidly Cynical Yet Funny

2008-05-27T18:59:00.000-07:00

The site lists a lot of acronyms from the medical field.

Public defenders

2008-05-26T15:03:00.000-07:00

Having been the victim of arson and grand theft in the past 7-8 years, you would think that I would be very pro-prosecution. While I am for strict punishments for folks who knowingly or wantonly commit crimes, I am also fully aware of the socio-economic and psychological reasons that people commit crimes. I was checking out the Underblawg and was pleased to see that the insight would continue to sally forth. Kudos, PD Underblawg. You would have been missed.

My last trip to Colorado & the day of the white buffalo

2008-05-24T12:41:00.000-07:00

I took my last trip to Colorado in September 2001. On the morning of 09/11/01 I woke to my aunt and grandmother watching the news coverage of the planes ramming into the World Trade Center and Pentagon. My then boyfriend/now husband was in Washington DC for his grandfather's funeral at Arlington Cemetery. I knew he was in DC but had no way to contact him and was more than a little panicked. He would finally call later that day to let me know he was okay. He ended up being stuck there for about a week while the FAA and the US Government decided what the hell to do. Being stuck in Gunnison County was not a bad thing for me, but being stuck in DC was horrible for my husband and his mother and brother.

Anyway, it was not a bad place to be stranded as these things go...
We were heading from Almont up to Crested Butte one day when we spotted a small herd of buffalo. We pulled over and I got out my camera. The buffalo belonged to a local rancher who was riding the wave of buffalo meat popularity. We stood and watched them for awhile and it was then that I noticed one of the bulls was white. A white buffalo is rare and often coveted sign among indigenous peoples in North America. For me it was simply another memory to cherish of a place I would no longer have access to.

Places you dream about...

2008-05-23T19:43:00.000-07:00

Almont, Colorado
My grandparents built a cabin in southwestern Colorado. It was an A-frame, and some of the fondest memories of my childhood are located in this place. The cabin sat at the bottom of a mountain, the name of which I never knew. The front yard slowly eased down into the East River. As a child I would use the rocks on the river's edge to build fish ponds by stacking rocks. I would spend hours and sometimes days creating the perfect escape proof pen for German Brown Trout. I must have placed several dozen fish into these pens over the years and damned if all of them didn't promptly escape. Apparently they did not fully appreciate the work I had put into the project.

Most days at the cabin started with my grandmother making breakfast. Grandpa would be sitting at the table drinking his coffee and either watching the news or reading the paper. There would be the smell of bacon some days. My favorite mornings were when Grandma would make crepes or waffles. With the crepes she would put fresh peaches or strawberries and a little dab of Cool Whip on top. The waffles sometimes had walnuts. Grandma made her own syrup using brown sugar. For a kid who often scrounged for their own breakfast for as long as they could remember, these mornings were so special. I was always excited to have a meal ready for me the minute I came downstairs.

I still have dreams that my grandmother didn't sell the cabin. I know why she did, but it still saddens me. I had been a single mom for about a year and a half when she made the decision to sell. I had secretly been hoping that I could move there with my son and live. It was a place that I had always been happy and I wanted that for my son as well. That cabin was my dream for years. I would move there and live.

Not Bjork & vaguely disturbing yet cool

2008-05-23T18:45:00.000-07:00

桑磯と思います。

2008-05-20T10:52:00.000-07:00

My husband and I watch The Office. On one hand, it is quite funny, and on the other, we're always amazed at its ability to make us cringe. I was checking out Deus Ex Malcontent this morning and he had posted a lovely short from SNL.. I'll leave the rest of this to your viewing pleasure.

Having lived and worked in Japan I can say this is not precisely accurate, and yet, there are some serious elements of truth to be found.

A Walk to Beautiful

2008-05-19T09:34:00.000-07:00

Some of you know that I had a homebirth with my son. I learned later that I was quite lucky in my pregnancy and birth process. Many of my friends had much more difficult pregnancies and longer labors. I am a stalwart proponent of home birth, but I saw this Nova episode, and it drove home once again the things that can go wrong with the birthing process.

The women in the film not only lost their babies, but were ostracized from their communities for being "dirty" after their birth experiences due to fistulas.

Fast Facts

Fistula used to be present in the U.S. and Europe, but was largely eliminated in the latter part of the 19th century and early 20th century with improved obstetric care in general and the use of c-sections in particular to relieve obstructed labor.

The World Health Organization estimates that approximately 2 million women have untreated fistula and that approximately 100,000 women develop fistula each year. Fistula is most prevalent in sub-Saharan Africa and Asia.

In Ethiopia, alone, there are an estimated 100,000 women suffering with untreated fistula, and another 9,000 women who develop fistula each year.

Less than 6 in 10 women in developing countries give birth with any trained professional, such as a midwife or a doctor. In Ethiopia, only 1 in 10 women have a trained attendant. When complications arise, as they do in approximately 15% of all births, there is no one available to treat the woman, leading to disabling injuries like fistula, and even death.

The root causes of fistula are grinding poverty and the low status of women and girls. In Ethiopia, the poverty and malnutrition in children contributes to the condition of stunting, where the girl skeleton, and therefore pelvis as well, do not fully mature. This stunted condition can contribute to obstructed labor, and therefore fistula.

But, fistula is both preventable and treatable. The Addis Ababa Fistula Hospital has treated over 30,000 women over 33 years. Their cure rate is over 90%. Fistula can be prevented if laboring women are provided with adequate emergency obstetric care when complications arise.

Watch this film trailer for "A Walk to Beautiful".

Houses

2008-05-18T15:28:00.000-07:00

I am intrigued by this house which has no yard to speak of and no road to easily access it.

This is the listing advertisement:
Willamette River & City Lights. Exceptional Renovation Classic Portland Vintage. Extensive Hardwoods w/Updated Kitchen & Baths. Moments to Downtown Portland/Johns Landing. Location Does Not Get Much Better Than This. No Yard to Maintain, Enjoy Views from a Generous Covered Front Porch.

4 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms + a basement. Built in 1908. Modernized, but still with classic features.

I think I'm in love even though I know I would have to schlep groceries down a hill or up a hill to the house. I like the idea of going back to the semi-pedestrian lifestyle I had in Japan. I hope this house is still on the market when ours finally sells.

Anyone want to buy my house so I can get this other one? And a new job would be way spiffy too, preferably with a $10K/year increase in salary.

PowerPoint (Simpler=Better)

2008-05-16T11:24:00.000-07:00

Just finished a PP presentation that I'll be a part of tomorrow. Bleth. Hate PP. The thing that truly makes me foam at the mouth is the inability of people to use PP correctly. When they insist on reading every damn thing on the screen it drives me mad. Please see "Chicken" for an example of what I mean.

Yeah, yeah, yeah... still avoiding that paper!

2008-05-14T21:31:00.001-07:00

I wanted someone to know where to go for the best coffee in SE...

Palio

Even if I am not buying (unemployed=not buying FYI), you should go. Really. It's lovely.

What to do when you have a 3000 word essay due in 2 days?

2008-05-14T21:16:00.000-07:00

Procrastinate of course!

I am in a class where we're studying collaborations. This of course means that we have a group project. Did the hair on the back of your neck stand up? Anyway, there are four people in my group, and we are each responsible for a 3000 word essay outlining our project (a PowerPoint and interactive Q&A), how we worked together as a group, the readings we were required to have completed, and our reflections on the paper we turned in at the beginning of the class that we finally got comments on yesterday from the teacher. Prior to creating groups, the teacher had us each take a Myers-Briggs test for personality type. Each group was supposed to be as diverse as possible.

Thus, I find myself thinking about the movie The Breakfast Club. Each student was required to write an essay about themselves and who they thought they were. In the end, Anthony Michael Hall's character wrote the paper for the dumbass vice principal, outlining how each of them was a criminal, princess, basketcase, jock, and brain.

I wish we could do that. Not quite apropos in graduate school, though, I suspect.

Dammit.

The Plimsouls - A Million Miles Away (Valley Girl - 1983)

2008-05-14T21:08:00.001-07:00

Total romance.. like totally.

In Tua Nua

2008-05-14T20:12:00.000-07:00

Underrated, although according to Wikipedia over-rated, In Tua Nua was a prelude to the wonder that was Sinead O'Conner prior to her flipping out and becoming a Catholic priest. Sinead wrote a song for In Tua Nua early in her career. If you can find any early ITN album, I recommend it, especially for long distance trips. Lots of opportunities to sing along and establish once and for all whether bagpipes belong on rock albums.

As to the lovely Sinead, one of her most poignant songs (IMHO) is this:

Take this job and....

2008-05-13T21:10:00.000-07:00

Oh, wait, they told me I was laid off. Oops. My bad.

So, after having been on essentially a sabbatical for two months, I am now laid off. I did plan ahead and applied for unemployment several weeks ago, but must still have an unpaid week (starts Saturday as far as I am concerned) before receiving benefits. This will be the first time ever I have had to make use of unemployment.

Well, crap. Is it like Rocky Horror Picture Show? Are you a virgin before you see/use it, then move up the line to slut and whore after multiple seeings/uses?

Ooooh, I wonder if I will be a blip on the unemployment percentages next week?! Will NPR do a cover story about me? Nah, I'm not that news worthy.

Well, time to get some rest, for tomorrow I will be filling out applications! To arms!